Sharing... Empathy... Sympathy

At the age of 2... almost 3... I know that the thought of sharing, being empathetic, and sympathetic for others is nearly impossible! While sharing is a must, learning empathy and sympathy are probably still a few years off in terms of age appropriate development. On the other hand, I do think it is a great time to start teaching these things to children.



As most everyone knows, my grandpa has been in the hospital since last week due to a bad fall/stroke/broken leg. Therefore, we spent many hours there comforting family and praying for healing. While we were at the hospital, there was a family who appeared to be living in the ICU waiting room. The most obvious family member was a young girl who was only 8 years old. Each time we were visiting, she was there (usually in her pajamas) watching tv. Ella really took to this little girl and enjoyed her company and gadgets! While we sat, we tried to get some information from this little girl about why she was there and so on. It turns out, they had been there for two weeks because her father was having seizures and suffering from lymphoma. This little girl was a very mature 8 year old and was willing to tell all about her life struggles. You could tell that she was "forced" to grow up at a rapid rate and was in need of love and attention. What 8 year old wouldn't after spending two weeks plus sleeping in a hospital? As we got to know Sophie, we realized that she was excited for school, but was missing a few last minute school supplies. So, Kermie went out on a little shopping spree so she could be prepared for school and a fresh start to the year. School supplies were probably the last thing on her family's mind!



To make a long story short... when Kermie returned with the belated birthday gift, Ella was very confused! We hadn't told her we were going to give Sopie a gift and hadn't shared with Ella Sophie's circumstances before hand and honestly didn't think she would even understand if we had told her. As Sophie unzipped her new backpack and began taking out all the goodies, Ella starting throwing a FIT! I was completely humiliated to say the least. She couldn't understand the fact that those were not for her, couldn't be "shared," and that her daddy wasn't going to give her something out of the bag. I immediately took her out into the hallway to begin explaining this very complicated situation to a 2 year old and when she finally gained composure I took her back in. Once inside the waiting room again, she starting getting upset and wanted to open everything inside the bag, so we said our goodbyes and left.



My inital thoughts were "what have we done wrong" and "have we spoiled our child so much that she can't give to others?" I know that Ella is very blessed to have the things she has and know that she is "spoiled" to a certain extent. I also know that she is only 2 and is at a very selfish age, but I also know that we need to be working harder to make sure she knows just how blessed she is and that there are many less fortunate little girls in this world.



On top of our sharing issues and this incident, we have also been looking to find something in addition to TIME OUT, to reinforce positive behaviors from Ella. I am not a fan of constantly say "no", "don't", etc. etc. etc. So, Kermie and I put our heads together and came up with a Stick System. This system is purely positive reinforcement and does not involve any type of punishment whatsoever. The only materials needed were a plastic cup and ten sticks. We explained to Ella that she could earn 10 sticks for doing "big girl and good girl" things around the house and outside of the house. Whether it's picking up after herself, not complaining about not getting her way, sharing, etc. etc. she can earn up to 10 total sticks. When she gets to 10, she is allowed a "special" treat. She also will be getting the same "special" treat to give away to someone else. So, basically, by displaying positive behavior, which will hopefully cut down on TIME OUT time, Ella will be rewarded for doing good things and will get to give her earned reward to another person.



Since we have started the Stick System, Ella has been in TIME OUT 1 time! It's been a total of 4 days now, so that's a record! She has helped out around the house more than usual, refrained from using "mean" words when she is angry and gotten super excited when she earns a stick! She is currently at 9 sticks and has one left to earn before getting her "special" treat. She has mentioned a piece of candy and talked about sharing the extra treat with her cousin Ava or Brayden, so we will see what she decides. I know it's only been a few days, but the immediate results have been so rewarding and more than anything, I am hoping that she learns to share more with others (less fortunate or more fortunate).

P.S. We are being induced tomorrow at 5 a.m. :) Grayson will be joining us soon!

This time three years ago... In two weeks or less...

This time three years ago....

I was preparing to give birth to the beautiful, little girl below!


I was sitting in the doctor's office without a little girl pretending to "catch" her baby brother!


I was smiling for this very same photo, but with a different precious child inside!



On the other hand...




In two weeks or less...


1. I will give birth to my second child (and more than likely, he will be the last). I've always loved the idea of having 2 children and a family of 4!


2. I will become a mommy to a sweet little boy who I can't wait to meet! I really admire the relationship my mom and my brother have always had and hope that Grayson and I will have the same.



3. I will say good-bye to this baby bump that I've rubbed and loved for the past nine months. There's nothing better than a pregnant belly and feeling your baby growing inside!


4. I will get to experience the joy of watching my husband bond with another child and expanding his love even farther!


5. I will get to see Ella embrace her baby brother and become a terrific BIG sister!

New Blog Title

I started this blog about 3 years ago when Ella was first born. The purpose of the blog was to represent some sort of electronic babybook to document Ella's life and it has served that purpose very well! I love looking back to older pictures and reading up on all of our past memories. In fact, I'm sure I will use those early blog posts when Grayson gets here to remind myself of what goes on in those newborn stages and so on! On the other hand, now that we have a new addition coming to the family and I honestly don't want to have to keep up with 2 blogs (one for Ella and one for Grayson), I've decided to rename this blog to The Donovan Clan and let it serve the same purpose, but for our entire family! I am not going to change the website address, so you can still keep up with us at the same place! :)

Ella and Grayson's Room

I am proud to say that the "nursery/big girl" room is nearly complete! It was quite a task, but so rewarding to see it all come together! I hope that Grayson and Ella will both enjoy it and enjoy being with each other until we move in the next year or so!

Just so you know, Ella's quilt on her bed was the inspiration for the entire room. I wanted her to still have a "girly" room, but for Grayson (although he will have absolutely no idea) to have a masculine touch as well. Her quilt allowed us to keep the pinks and greens, but tie in browns and yellows and oranges as well!


The flower pots were already in Ella's old room, but only had pink dots. I kept some pink, but added a few brown and green dots. The mural was painted by Kermie and is one of the trees off of her quilt. He is almost finished. There are a few flowers that still need to be added! I happen to think he did a fabulous job! :)


I know this isn't a "great" picture, but one of the greatest tasks of the room was providing enough space for both Ella's stuff and Grayson's stuff. It turns out that Ella got to keep the majority of the closet space and Grayson took over the dresser. Ella's bed having two drawers and her new cubical organizer really helped out!

One of the best moments over the past two years has been getting Ella's toys out of our living room and into her room. We made a toy closet that kept our living room from looking like a toy store! I was worried that we'd have to get rid of the toy closet in order to make room for Grayson's stuff, but as for now... we get to keep it! We had to put several toys in the living room, but there are still lots for both of them to play with in their new room. Ella obviously loves it!

This is Grayson's bed. I looked for big letters like Ella's, but could never find all of the letters in his name! So, I actually saved lots of money and used stencils instead!

This is what you see when you walk into their room.

Ella's big girl bed and inspiration for the room! My nanny made new curtains and I made a headboard to tie in the fabric.

Ella's girlie corner of the room. This cubical came in more handy than I thought it would!

Grayson's corner and diaper station! I'd still like to find a dust ruffle to go around the bottom of his crib, but unfortunately one did not come with his bedding.

The once dark pink, light pink, and green stripes are now brown, tan and white :) And, I could not part with the pink rug or pink light fixture! I got such a good deal on both of them the first time around! :)

So, there you have it! Ella is already enjoying her room and Grayson will be in just 2 or 3 weeks! :) All we are missing is a baby boy!

Fourth of July... Last "Family of 3" Mini Vacation

Kermie and I have been wanting to take one last mini vacation as a family of 3 all summer and we finally found a weekend to go! I had been promising Ella a trip to the zoo to see all of the animals and once we got to talking about the possibility of fireworks on the river, we decided it would be best to just make a weekend of it! It was a great weekend for sure!

Ella and Kermie at the entrance of the zoo.


Showing Barbie to the monkeys!


Amazed by the seals! She is really into what makes a good swimmer lately, so she enjoyed watching these terrific swimmers!


Me in front of the dinosaur that spit on Kermie and Ella! It was hilarious and very unexpected! :)

Ella was a little unsure of the dinosaurs (aka monsters). However, she hasn't stopped talking about them since we got home!

Posing with her gooey egg and zoo hat (no paci presents) at the conclusion of our trip to the zoo. She loved it!

Checking into the hotel and full of energy somehow or another!

Taking a quick jump on the bed of course!

Ella and Kermie before dinner :)

Ella and mommy with a balloon and chocolate milkshake from a terrific dinner! We had the BEST service ever that night. Ella called our waiter her "best friend" :)

Ella and Kermie in the hot tub!

Candy laces and a wet head waiting for the fireworks to start!

Watching fireworks from the hotel room. Room service: a chocolate cake and cheesecake :) If you haven't noticed, my family is huge on sweets!

Very pretty, but she still doesn't like how loud they are... even from inside.

On our way home from a fabulous weekend get-a-way! :)

Good-bye Paci

One of my summer goals was to attempt the good-bye paci mission. I waited until the big girl bed mission was complete and finally it has come time to say good-bye to one of her very "best friends".

Ella and I have had MANY long talks about the paci and how she is going to be a big sister and that big sisters don't have pacis. She has only had it during naptime and bedtime for a while now, but her attachment has only strengthened. She has developed a weird habit with her paci and chocolate milk at naptime and bedtime (she takes a drink of the milk, puts paci in before swallowing, and ends up with chocolate milk all over her mouth! You have to see it to understand it!). And, she will be the first to tell you that she LOVES her paci and will willing share them with Grayson when he comes.

So, yesterday I decided was the day. She woke up and did her usual. Chocolate milk and paci in bed while watching a few cartoons. We got dressed, put paci in the basket and had a fun time with Ashley, Brayden, and Keaton. Around "naptime," (in brackets because she did not nap, only rested) she went to find her paci in the basket and realized that it was broken along with all of the others. She was very confused! I had cut each of the tips off (and secretly kept two), but she just assumed her own story. She found a fly setting on the bed and assumed that the fly had gotten into the basket and eaten the tips off her pacis! At first she was very concerned and reassured herself and me that we could just go buy new ones. However, I told her that this was perfect timing because she didn't need them anymore anyways. I told her she was more than welcome to try them out to see if they still work. She did and shook her head no. I told her she was more than welcome to carry them around with her if she wanted. She did and ended up putting them down saying that she didn't need them anymore.

I expected to have a major melt down, but there was never one. She was a little whiny at first, but quickly realized she could handle it (keeping in mind it's only been a little over 24 hours now---haha!).

Last night at bedtime, I put her in bed with her chocolate milk and Abby in Wonderland. As we were sitting there watching the show, she kept going "yum, yum, yum". I looked at her and she was smiling very big! She said, "Guess what I did mommy? " I replied wearily, "What did you do Ella?" "I drank my chocky without my paci!!" she said giggling! She was so proud of herself and I was too!

Long story short... she slept all night without paci and still hasn't had it! It's very bittersweet for me as I've watched her and paci become wonderful friends over the past 2.5 years! She loves her paci and is SO comforted by it. It's the one thing that still made her a "baby" in my eyes and now it's gone! She is offically my big girl and is going to be a terrific BIG sister! :)

Grayson's Baby Shower

Ella in her "Princess" dress that she just had to wear mid-shower and present bow in her hair!


Grayson's adorable cake!



Ella helping open presents :)

Me with the terrific hostesses! :) Thanks a bunch girls!

This past weekend we had a baby shower for Grayson at my parent's church. My sister-in-law Jackie and BFF Ashley threw me a shower in honor of our new baby boy coming the first week of August! The shower was beautiful and everyone who came seemed to really enjoy themselves... how could you not when the food was delish and company was so great!

When I first thought about the shower I hadn't planned to bring Ella due to it being at nap time and her being in her prime tantrum phase and all, but then decided to let her come and enjoy some of the celebrations for her baby brother. To put it simple... she had a blast! One of the biggest issues right now is making sure Ella doesn't think that life from this point is about Grayson, but wanting her to enjoy his arrival and her being such a big girl and huge helper! She received quite a few presents, one being a dress that mom bought and she insisted on wearing and even a book that was created especially for her about being a big sister. She enjoyed every last minute of it! :)

Due to the fact that I did not have a boy the first go around I was a little worried about having enough clothes for Grayson, but my fears were relieved after opening a ton of clothes!!! He will for sure be one well-dressed little boy! :) Now just to figure out where all of his gifts will go! The majority of them are still in my car because the nursery is a wreck at the moment. We are hoping to have it completed for the most part by the end of the week. I will be sure to post pics as soon as it is finished! :)

Yay for Grayson joining our family in six more weeks!! :) We can't wait to meet him!